I sometimes wonder if I am perhaps the strangest person in the history of God's (almost) green earth. I vary so vastly in my daily thought processes, that sometimes I cannot believe I am really me. What is sad about it is I am kinda serious.....
Haha...don't leave yet. Hold on and let me explain.
I often go back and read my blogs and real journal, just to see what I was thinking at certain points in my life. I just read a bunch of past thoughts and it made me recognize my weirdness once again.
Within the period of a week:
I am patient.
I am impatient.
I am learning.
I hate to learn.
I like Norah Jones.
I like Elvis.
I am hugely fat.
I love my weight.
I am living on purpose.
I am a perfectly good waste of oxygen.
I want to be a nun.
I want a husband, God!
He is seriously crazy about me.
He must not even recognize my existence.
I am so articulate.
I am a floundering excuse of an business woman.
I am going to be a millionaire by 25.
Yeah right, who are you kidding?
I am so disciplined.
I am so undisciplined.
I am going to succeed.
I am pretty much a flop in all areas.
You see? It is not normal. It cannot be normal. Or maybe it is normal, but most people have sense enough to hide it all very well?
At any rate, my prodigious amount of Many Colored Days have me bumfumbled.
4 comments:
Nah. You're normal. There really is an empowerment in transparent honesty, isn't there? In the ability to say "I love him" one minute and "I hate him" the next. To admit that you feel confident one minute and floundering the next. You are being honest, you are being the real you, and you are not ashamed. Go, you.
And "bumfumbled" is one of the best words I've heard in a while. I may steal it from you. :-)
I hope it leaves an empowering impression. I often feel more ridiculous than empowered. But I guess that is the irony of being transparent; you portray the confidence you wish to attain and in turn everyone thinks you are confident simply because you were transparent, and that makes you confident..... =)Or something along those lines?
this blog wouldn't disturb me at all, except it sounds like my journal ....
i think it comes from over-analyzing everything in our lives. perfection is such a noble, yet exhausting, goal.
Keep up the good work.
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