Offensive Power

I love the way the Message puts this scripture! Matthew 16:18
(The Message)
"Jesus came back, "God bless you, Simon, son of Jonah! You didn't get that answer out of books or from teachers. My Father in heaven, God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I'm going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock. This is the rock on which I will put together my church, a church so expansive with energy that not even the gates of hell will be able to keep it out." We are not poor, pathetic weaklings merely trying to defend ourselves! We have offensive power! We can create damage in hell! I love that.

I am being entirely too open.. but that might be the very thing that helps me heal. This is probably not about what you are thinking, so don't read into it. I have this "thing" in my life that I want to fix. Not that my ultimate decision would be different, because it wouldn't be... But if I could go back; If I could implement then what I know now...I could chase away years of regret. I would say the things I was thinking. I would hold back and not say anything at all. I would not lie to myself. I would not lie to the other person. I would love better. I would make hugely different choices. I would think about my future. I would be an adult. I would not allow emotions to run me. I would get my priorities straight. But I can't. And it hurts. It's one of those deals that makes me physically ill when I think about it. I get sick to my stomach, I get angry, and it makes me cry. Lots of emotions involved. So now... since I can't fix it- I must get over it. I must forgive myself and the other involved. I have a huge chance to move on, and I need to take it. I must be challenged and changed by my mistakes. I will not make the same ones again.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Marianne Williamson

a tearful goodbye...not

Today was officially *drumroll* my last day at the library!!! I have moved on from the life of 8-5 and am venturing out into the world of Arbonne. I am going to the top, QUICKLY!

what a thought

http://www.ravenhill.org/sleepgnt.htm

Leanord Ravenhill wrote the book "Why Revival Tarries". An amazing book.
I love how he reminds us of the power we possess , if we would only stinking wake up.

another amazing scripture.

Psalm 107:9
For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.

Happy 100th Blog!

The previous blog was my 100th. I started doing this because I love to write and I need to vent. Who would have known I would become semi-addicted to expressing my own online soulful prattle!?

beginnings

I enjoy the process of time.
I love endings.
Endings often bring closure. Completeness. Rest.

Beginnings are uncomfortable, exciting and inspiring.
Everything is not as it seems.

At the beginning of a conversation; only pleasantries...
.... at the beginning of a meal, I am hungry;
..... at the beginning of the trip, I have snacks, my blanket has not been stolen and I am not numb;
..... at the beginning of the movie; I am not half asleep, wishing someone would carry me to bed;
... at the beginning of the month- my business numbers start over.

Beginnings are often the best part.

My life is all beginnings right now. Every aspect has started over almost entirely.
Everything looks sooo good, yet so unpredictable.

I am so excited.
Scared to death.
Completely unsure.
Shooting for the stars.
Expecting huge things.
Dreaming lovely dreams.
Totally trusting.

Tonight's Agneda: THE APOLOGY

1. Introduction of participants( you,me)
2. Why I (you) did what I ( you) did
3. Current Physiological Status
a) Weight loss
b)Sleepless nights

4. Get down on Hands and Knees (maybe both participants)
5. Beg for forgiveness ( you)
6. Conclusions and Recommendations (me)

I have come to the conclusion that I am the most random blogger I know. Props to my faithful readers... you either have a gift for understanding my meaningful and senseless jabber, or you love randomness.