I am being entirely too open.. but that might be the very thing that helps me heal. This is probably not about what you are thinking, so don't read into it. I have this "thing" in my life that I want to fix. Not that my ultimate decision would be different, because it wouldn't be... But if I could go back; If I could implement then what I know now...I could chase away years of regret. I would say the things I was thinking. I would hold back and not say anything at all. I would not lie to myself. I would not lie to the other person. I would love better. I would make hugely different choices. I would think about my future. I would be an adult. I would not allow emotions to run me. I would get my priorities straight. But I can't. And it hurts. It's one of those deals that makes me physically ill when I think about it. I get sick to my stomach, I get angry, and it makes me cry. Lots of emotions involved. So now... since I can't fix it- I must get over it. I must forgive myself and the other involved. I have a huge chance to move on, and I need to take it. I must be challenged and changed by my mistakes. I will not make the same ones again.