a man learns that if he cries into a particular cup, his tears will turn into pearls. he begins to think of ways to cry. the more wealth he obtains, the more he wants. his life is spent in self imposed sorrow for an intense greed-driven yearning for more wealth. at the end of his wasted life, he sits atop a mountain of pearls and sobs.... holding a knife in his hand and the body of his slain wife.
- kite runner
8.23.2007
boys are mean
i've ran out of gas twice this week. Once on a major highway. Once on my uphill driveway.
My dad was not a happy camper. You would think that 22 is old enough to warrant getting out of that chewing. No sir.
course, Daddy was also the one to discover I had left my car running for literally hours. In one case all night long.
As if I would do that on purpose.
As if.
Boys will be boys. mean. they don't understand what it's like to be me.
It's as I told Chantell:
(Maybe) the smarter the girl, the smaller her "automobile-savvy- quotient"?!? It's what I tell myself anyway.
My dad was not a happy camper. You would think that 22 is old enough to warrant getting out of that chewing. No sir.
course, Daddy was also the one to discover I had left my car running for literally hours. In one case all night long.
As if I would do that on purpose.
As if.
Boys will be boys. mean. they don't understand what it's like to be me.
It's as I told Chantell:
(Maybe) the smarter the girl, the smaller her "automobile-savvy- quotient"?!? It's what I tell myself anyway.
8.21.2007
8.17.2007
ravening as a wolf
I am enduring a time of "inner chastening" as of the last few days. Up to this point, I haven't adressed it as such but I am now ready to talk about it. *Sigh*
Let me prelude this by saying I don't feel for one second I am abnormally gifted at anything. However, I will say I have a tendancies towards the following issue, and I feel like God is calling it to my attention in order to remove its potential growth....and even help me get over it.
I tend to float. I love to talk about passionate discipline, and in certain areas even possess it; but it has not been a mainstay trait of mine by any stretch.
I don't have to practice everyday. I don't need to study to get good grades. I can talk to very few people about Arbonne and still sell a bit. I can skip exercise and maintain a pretty good hold on my weight.
Maybe we could call it giftedness.
Maybe we could call it floating.
Maybe we could call it sin.
I have felt absolutely convicted of this for an entire week and I really feel that God is calling me to stop. If I can be average, normal and even "good" by doing what I am doing--- sometimes nothing--- how much more would I be if I applied some discipline and passion? Some hunger? Exactly. Alot more.
I will not allow myself to float thru life and be just mediocre. My heart must be engaged more and my mouth less. I have not been living to the standard of blessing God has prepared for me. I need to hunger for greatness.
Read Genesis 49:27, When Jacob is blessing his sons before his death. This is awesome!
"Benjamin shall raven as a wolf: in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil."
Our word ravenous obviously comes from the word "raven". To "raven" was to hunger for more. To seize or to devour, to constantly search and push for more; to aspire to greatness. The tribe of Benjamin was the tribe from which kings came! Jacob was proclaiming that Benjamin, being tribe of kings, would be hungry for more! He would never settle for mediocrity! He would produce greatness... kings and royalty! Secondly, "in the morning , he shall devour the prey". He was working hard in his youth( in the morning), so he could divide the spoils in the latter years of his life. Thanks, T.D.
How much better will I be when I act with passion?
Let me prelude this by saying I don't feel for one second I am abnormally gifted at anything. However, I will say I have a tendancies towards the following issue, and I feel like God is calling it to my attention in order to remove its potential growth....and even help me get over it.
I tend to float. I love to talk about passionate discipline, and in certain areas even possess it; but it has not been a mainstay trait of mine by any stretch.
I don't have to practice everyday. I don't need to study to get good grades. I can talk to very few people about Arbonne and still sell a bit. I can skip exercise and maintain a pretty good hold on my weight.
Maybe we could call it giftedness.
Maybe we could call it floating.
Maybe we could call it sin.
I have felt absolutely convicted of this for an entire week and I really feel that God is calling me to stop. If I can be average, normal and even "good" by doing what I am doing--- sometimes nothing--- how much more would I be if I applied some discipline and passion? Some hunger? Exactly. Alot more.
I will not allow myself to float thru life and be just mediocre. My heart must be engaged more and my mouth less. I have not been living to the standard of blessing God has prepared for me. I need to hunger for greatness.
Read Genesis 49:27, When Jacob is blessing his sons before his death. This is awesome!
"Benjamin shall raven as a wolf: in the morning he shall devour the prey, and at night he shall divide the spoil."
Our word ravenous obviously comes from the word "raven". To "raven" was to hunger for more. To seize or to devour, to constantly search and push for more; to aspire to greatness. The tribe of Benjamin was the tribe from which kings came! Jacob was proclaiming that Benjamin, being tribe of kings, would be hungry for more! He would never settle for mediocrity! He would produce greatness... kings and royalty! Secondly, "in the morning , he shall devour the prey". He was working hard in his youth( in the morning), so he could divide the spoils in the latter years of his life. Thanks, T.D.
How much better will I be when I act with passion?
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