Insanity

The last two weeks have been nothing but crazy twists in my life.
I feel very very close to insanity at times like this. Insanely passionate. Insanely different. Insanely focused. Insanely hurt. Insanely trusting.
I tend to be a passionate person....but it's out of control right now. Maybe because I have had to redirect my attentions and focus my energy on a huge self diversion? I have no idea.
I do drastic things these days. It's like a weird urge to make everything different so I don't hurt as bad. Because if EVERYTHING changes, then you can't notice the one big change as much right??? I'ts just a theory.

"A quote from the book that is helping me".

Every ounce of forgiveness I owned was locked away; hidden from view. I have found no one to be worthy of my valuable forgiveness, and since they never asked for any, I kept it all for myself. No more! At this moment, my life has taken on new hope and assurance. I will dissipate anger and resentment. Forgiveness only has value when it is given away. By the simple act of granting forgiveness, I release a past I can do nothing about, and I create in myself a new heart, a new beginning. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit. I will forgive even those who do not ask for forgiveness. I have wasted valuable hours imagining revenge or confrontation. The rage I nurture is one-sided, for my offender seldom gives thought to his offense! By the act of forgiving, I am no longer consumed by unproductive thoughts. I will be content in my soul and effective again. I know that the person who lives a life according to the opinion of others is a slave. I am not a slave. I have chosen my counsel. I know the difference between right and wrong. I know what is best for the future of my family, and neither misguided opinion or unjust criticism will alter my course. Those who are critical of my methods, goals and dreams simply do not understand the higher purpose for which I have been called. Therefore, their scorn does not affect my attitude or action. I forgive their lack of vision and dedication, and I forge ahead. I will realize today that it is impossible to fight an enemy living in my head. I erase the doubts, fears and frustration that have kept my past in the present. From this day foward, my hisory will cease to control my destiny. My life has just begun. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit.-The Traveler's Gift

Crying does not help.