Breakthroughs & Dreams, God's way.

I have seen the creative handiwork of God in my life so much recently…I cannot help but be humbled by it. I will do my best to share.

My heart holds to what I believe most female hearts hold to…The quintessential dream of a woman.
--To love and be loved by a strong man. To have his babies, lay our hearts out doing God’s work and be in love for 99 years or more. That’s my biggest dream. It always has been.
As life has progressed, I have seen how my plans and timing for this dream, versus God’s, are clearly different. So different in fact, that as of June 4, I will be the last kid left at home. Not a big deal if you are the youngest child, but a kind-of big deal if you are the oldest. So throughout the whole journey, I have started to wonder about God’s plan for me. I can’t forget this dream. Or lay it aside. It’s just there.
Anyway, now that I have bared my soul…. ;)
This is supposed to be about what God is doing in my heart.
So, I must establish that I believe that God’s plan is for today. I am responsible for what I do today and then tomorrow. Everyday I have a portion of life…MY life… that fits into the bigger scheme of things. My heart cannot be the breeding ground for bitterness, laziness or lust…..the all too common struggles of a single individual.
So I have put up a strong fight against these things. I have decidedly kept my heart pure for whoever God wants me to marry. The problem was, I have also allowed myself to not accomplish certain things, because I felt like I HAD to be married in order to do them. Like missions. And freedom to feel I can have a ministry. And overcoming fears.
So this year, I started off the year on a 21 day fast from food and began very focused prayer. Breakthrough Number 1. So long excuses on why I haven’t done extended fasting. I CAN do it.
This launched multiple other victories in my life. I began to have extended periods of freedom from the anxiety that I’ve had for years. Breakthrough #2.
I’ve begun to see the fruition of my heart’s desires come to pass in ministry. I feel less timid in what God has called me to be in my music ministry, and in general. I have been humbled and pleased that His anointing has enveloped me and I have felt distinct purpose. Breakthrough #3.

I decided that waiting to go on a Missions trip is pretty much like waiting to breathe. Dumb. So I am now headed to Spain and Portugal July 1-11, thanks to my wonderful friends, family and a providing God. Breathrough #4.

And lastly, I am gently reminded that if God is able to work in me to accomplish all this… I am sure I needn’t concern myself with my heart's lovliest dream. He knows all about it. And...maybe... eventually... the 99 years of true love might happen, too;)