Library Stupidity 2

Incident #1- She, let's just call her Jane, walks up to the reference desk and asks for assistance. Jane asked where she might find a certain book, and we walked her to the proper area. The library staff then proceeds to tell her a that if ever she needs a book on that topic again, the non-fiction begins here, and the fiction begins over there (pointing), so just follow it accordingly. Jane, after thinking a moment, says "I have been coming in here for years, you mean to say that ALL of these books are in order? Wow, I did not realize that!" Actually, Jane, we just put them back wherever we find room on the shelves.... We just remember where we randomly placed every volume. Incident #2- I was working the desk the other day, when a man walks up and asks me ( in front of TONS of other patrons) if I could help him find a book on Hemorrhoids. Me: Traumatized. I think to myself, "This man has no discretion." Oh, but it didn't stop there. He proceeded to tell me that he has Hemorrhoids." By now, my face is throbbing with embarrassment. I ran to get the book, not bothering to have him come along. He calls out to me, "I need a book with LOTS of pictures, I need to know what they look like". I practically threw the book at him and ran to the back to wash my hands. The wonderful thing is he comes in the library ALL the stinking time. I get involuntary mental images every time.